“Years ago, I was part of a band called Euphonic, you may have heard of them. After a while I began writing a book – but one where each chapter had a backing music track and a poem. So while people were reading they could listen to the music, which set a certain mood for them. I uploaded the progress onto MySpace, and then, well… my work was stolen by one of the band members. He started his own page with it and mine had been shut down. So I had lost most of what I’d worked on. And through the frustration, I actually ended up burning what I had written. I didn’t see the justice in what had happened and was left with nothing.
There were some tough years for me but eventually I realised I needed to get back on my feet. Now I’ve gone online and apparently they are looking to reopen the old MySpace, I don’t know how it was shut down in the first place. So I’ve just sent a letter, well I’ve sent it a few now, and I’ve had some good news that they will open this up again. And I know all my old stuff was on there – so there is hope, that it is all still on there, and I collect all my stories together, you know, and have some basis to focus on. Because at the moment… I sleep outside. But I’m still quite positive, I feel quite spiritual, which helps when it gets quite overwhelming
I wasn’t really angry, I was more frustrated over the years… what was it, 16 years ago. So now, I’m trying to get organised, and making more effort to get the work that I want. I know they say life isn’t fair, but when you try and still manage to keep a positive mind, and these things set you back, it can make me feel quite angry thinking about it. It could get me quite angry now, but it’s really good to actually see some people, like yourself, you know with a camera and a project, it’s nice seeing people doing something positive.
London is really diverse and really cultural. But I think that some people seem to lack a bit of spirituality. Especially coming from Newham, my next door neighbour was muslim, the neighbour of him was Sikh, and my neighbour on the other side was English. I really liked growing up in that cultured atmosphere. It does get a bit disappointing that over the time I’ve spent in the underground scenes, I’ve met a broad spectrum of people and they tend to lack some spirituality, or a confidence in themselves or where they’re from. It’s almost seen as selfish to actually look at yourself.
I was working on a documentary, on homeless people, it was based on a spin-off from one in New York – you can look up ‘Dark Days’, it will be online. And also the band Euphonic – look up and listen to the music, see if it’s something you like.
The relationship with the band is ongoing, I’m still positive about that and I’m quite confident I’ll be able to get something from it and start recording again. It was really one person in the band, and he was the first to leave. So I’ve got faith now and I can see things working out, I’ll hopefully be able to pick up where I left off.
Check out the music at:
“If you can wake up and just like yourself a little bit, then you have so much to live for.”